Edward, Why Is There A Monkey In my Room ?
by Murasakionfire
Summary: It's a Cullen Family Movie Night. Hilarity ensures when Bella falls asleep at the Cullen's House and has a strange dream that all the Cullen's are in.
1. Chapter 1

Edward Why Is There's a Monkey in My Room!

**Authors note: This is my second fan fiction! Check out my first called; It's been 364 Days Since. It's a Harry Potter fic. Anyway I do not own any of these characters. Stephanie Myer owns them all. If I did then Renesmee would not exist and Jacob would never wear a shirt. JK! Anyway, on with the humor!**

**Edwards POV**

I watched my Bella sleep peacefully. That would be something I would miss when it was time to change her. She was currently draped in my arms on the couch while the rest of us continued with the movie. Alice being the busy pixie she is organized another "Cullen Movie Night" she normally had these once a month. All eight of us were sitting in the family room when Bella's heart slowed and she fell asleep about 30 minutes ago.

"Edward." She mumbled.

I must have zoned out, did Emmett wake her. I'll kill him. I looked down at my angel who was still sleeping.

"Edward." She mumbled again.

Carlisle put the T.V on pause.

"Yes love."

"Why is there a monkey in my room?" she asked confused and slightly dazed.

My family tried hard to suppress their laughs.

"I don't know Bella."

"Edward." She mumbled again.

"Yes love"

"Don't just stand there get him out." she said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" I said while laughing.

"You're a mind reader, read his mind and tell me what he wants."

My family had smiles on their faces at the scene and her logic.

"I can't, I don't speak monkey." I told her with a smirk on my face.

"Oh." she replied sadly.

I couldn't stand to see my angel so sad.

"Why don't you ask someone else?" I suggested.

"Okay." She replied tiredly.

**Authors Note: Please review! I was planning on using a different person from the Cullen clan in every chapter. I already have ideas for Alice, Jasper, Esme , and Rosalie. In reviews give me some ideas for Emmett and Carlisle! I might have mentioned this before but….. REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2 Carlisle

**Authors Note: This is chapter2! I don't want to be one of those pushy writers but….. PLEASE REVIEW! Once again I do not own any of this! But seriously, if I did then Jacob would have always have short hair.**

Carlisle POV

"Carlisle," Bella mumbled.

"Yes Bella," I replied.

"Why is there a monkey in my room?" she questioned.

"I don't know Bella."

A long silence passed between us. I looked at my family as they waited for her to say something else.

"So get the monkey out of my room." She said tiredly.

"She should really get some rest." I thought. "But I am curious to see what I could do for her." "How am I supposed to do that?" I finally asked.

"I don't know you're the doctor how hard could it be?" she said starting to get annoyed.

It was silent as my family was looking at me expectantly.

"I'm a doctor not animal control." I exclaimed.

"So." she said.

"So, I don't work on animals only humans."

"How different can they be?" she asked. "Just take one of those scary needles you always try to use on me and put him to sleep." She said like it was so obvious.

"I don't think they work on monkeys." I replied. "And besides, you have to go to school to work on animals."

"So you've lived for over 300 years and haven't even bothered to go to veterinary school?" she asked confused. "I mean…. you've had all the time in the world." She added.

Everyone looked as they were trying hard to stop themselves from laugh. As for me I had a scowl on my face.

"Well I'll sign up for vet school tomorrow." I promised her.

"Tomorrows not soon enough I need the monkey out now!" she exclaimed.

"Well maybe you should ask someone else for help." I told her.

"Maybe ….."She said.

**Thank You to all that's reading! Feel free to tell me what you think! I know it's starting out sort of boring but I'm saving my best characters for later. REVIEW!Tell me which Cullen I should do next! Tell me who your favorite Twilight character is! Tell me how old you are! Tell me if you're reading this! Just talk to me and…..REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3 Banana Pudding From Esme

CHAPTER 3

**Authors Note: Chapter 3 is up! It's time for Esme to come in! Thank you to those who have read this story. PLEASE REVIEW! It would make my day if you clicked the review button and gave me some feedback. I do not own twilight! But If I did the Cullens would have more bonding time with Bella. WARNING: Not my best chapter….**

**Esme's POV**

"Esme?" Bella mumbled so softly if I weren't a vampire I wouldn't have heard it.

"Yes Bella." I replied worriedly.

I couldn't help but notice the scowl plastered on my husband's face. I gave him a small smile of sympathy. Though I couldn't help but agree with Bella. It has been 300 years and no veterinarian degree?

"Why is there a monkey in my room?" she questioned confused.

"I don't know Bella." I replied.

"Can you get the monkey out of my room?" she asked a little too desperately.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" I asked motherly.

"You should bake some of your heavenly good food and lure him out with it." She said so fast I could barely hear it.

I heard myself chuckle and couldn't help but ask a good question.

"Okay….. But what am I suppose to make?"

"I don't know- WAIT MONKEY GET OUT OF THERE THAT'S NOT YOURS." Bella started to scream.

At that I saw my son shush Bella and comfort her as the family started to laugh. Of course Emmett laughing a little too loudly and earning a deathly glare from Edward caught my attention. If looks could kill Emmett wouldn't be here. I looked at Edward disapprovingly as he looked at Emmett who had immediately shut up.

"Make something with bananas." Bella started up again. "Yeah, make banana pudding." She said drearily

I think I read somewhere in one of Carlisle's books to always agree with a person sleep talking and they will soon stop.

"Okay Bella." I said.

_One Minute Later_

"Alright lay a path towards the door!" Bella said commandingly. "Drop the pudding!"

No one said anything and wondered what was going to happen next.

"This way, this way!" Bella cooed to the monkey. "MONKEY YOU AREN"T YOU LEAVING, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!" She screamed. "3 VAMPIRES AND YOUR STILL HERE!" She screamed even louder.

"Esme?" She said calming down with Jaspers help.

"Yes Bella?" I replied.

"It didn't work." she said.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I said honestly.

"Esme?" she started again.

"Yes, Bella."

"I think he wants more….." She ended with.

"Maybe someone else can help you." I suggested.

"I'll ask." She told me.

**Like I said before not my best chappie… but review and tell me what I can to improve.**


	4. Chapter 4 THEY HAVE APOSSABLE THUMBS

**Authors Note: Hey readers! I got a new chapter up! Just to clear up any confusion, as all the Cullen's speak, Bella can hear them and dream Cullen's do and say what real Cullen's say. Make sense! Cuz rereading it doesn't make sense to me. On a review (By a guest) someone asked me to do Emmett next! So with some thinking I came up with a great idea for him. I do not own Twilight cuz if I did Bella's power would be better than a shield. Anyway please Review and on with the story!**

Emmett's POV

Cullen Family Movie Night is a blast! Sleeping Bella is almost as fun as the awake one. I love humans.

"Emmett?" The fragile little human asked.

"Yeah, little sister." I asked enthusiastically.

"Why is there a monkey in my room?" she wondered.

"Don't know lil sis." "BUT DON"T WORRY EMMETT WILL SAVE THE DAY!" I yelled pretending to be superman.

Of course that earned me another death glare from Edward for almost waking his 'Love'. He needed to take a chill pill. Hmmm…. I wonder if there's Decaf Blood I can get for him. He growled at me. Stupid mind reader.

"How are you going to save the day?" Bella asked curiously.

Ignoring Edward I decided that I would continue and help my dear sister in need.

"YOU CAN GO TELL THAT MONKEY EMMETT CULLEN CHALLENGES HIM TO A VIDEO GAME OFF!"

I screamed.

"Oh, stop your worrying Edward Bella's not waking up any time soon." I said annoyed.

"Um… are you sure that's a good idea Emmett because this monkey looks very smart." She said

Wearily.

"How dare you doubt my mad playing skills?" I said offended. "Here's how it works, if I win the

monkey leaves. If he wins… I'll buy him a unicycle!"

"Okay… it wouldn't hurt to try." She still said worriedly.

_30 seconds later_

"Are you ready?" Bella said. "On your mark! Get set! Go!"

I stood there waiting for Bella to tell everyone what was going on. A few seconds went by.

"Emmett what are you doing!" Bella yelled. "Get in the lead!" "YOU CAN'T BE BEAT BY A

MONKEY!" she said sounding pretty mad.

As I stared at Bella she had a frown on her face and looked pretty disappointed.

"Emmy Bear…." Bella started." "You lost."

"WHAT?" I screamed. "HOW DID I LOSE TO A MONKEY?" "I MEAN…SURE HE HAS

APPOSABLE THUMBS BUT…A MONKEY?"

Rosie tried to comfort me as best as she could while Jasper sent me calming waves.

"Uh…. Emmett I think he wants his unicycle now…" Bella said trailing off towards the end.

"Fine." I replied glumly. "Sorry I couldn't help"

"It's okay Emmett you tried." She said comforting me.

"You should probably ask someone else to help." I told her. "I need to go buy a unicycle."

"Okay Emmy bear." She replied.

**Authors Note: I wasn't sure how Emmett would work out but this is my favorite chapter yet! Tell me what you think. I only have 8 reviews. Tear. Tear. I LOVE WRITING THIS THOUGH!**


	5. Chapter 5 FASHION SHOW!

**Authors Note: Chapter update! And since someone suggested Jasper next…. (Drum roll please) JK. I can't think of anything for Jasper so I give you Alice.**

Alice POV

This is turning out just as I saw it would, the rest of my family not being able to get a monkey out of my poor little sisters' room. Of course I also have no idea since the monkey has not decided when he was going to leave himself. But I have my own ideas I would like to put out. Mhhm…. Bella's decided her next helper. She will ask in 5….4…..3…..2….1.

"Alice….?" Bella began.

"Say no more Bella." I said. "You're talking to a Physic here." "He hasn't made up his mind yet, but I know what he really wants." "TO GO SHOPPING!" "Oh shut up Edward she won't wake up for 6 hours and 47 minutes."

Edward faintly growled so low any human wouldn't have heard it.

"Anyway….. I'll go shopping, bring back a new wardrobe, and the monkey will leave being cuter than ever!" I said already thinking of his clothing size. "He's been deprived of his fashion need for way too long." "He came to your bedroom looking for something nice to wear."

"Are you sure this will work." Bella said hazily.

"No… but who doesn't want a new wardrobe." I argued. "I mean naked is so last year."

"Okay." She agreed.

_5 dream hours later (In dream.)_

"Alice." Bella mumbled. "What's with all the bags?"

"Don't you know how hard it is to find a store that sells monkey clothes." I asked. "By the time I got to Japan I bought everything they had." "You should be grateful"

Bella's eyes bulged out. "Japan?" She screamed.

"Now when do we start the fashion show on the stage?" I asked ignoring her.

"STAGE! WHEN DID THAT GET HERE?" Dream Bella asked.

"It's a dream, things just appear." I told her taking out his first outfit out one of many bags. "Now help me get this on him already."

Bella grumbled some things inaudible to even my ears and helped stuff the monkey into a suit. Though I think I heard her ask how the stage even fit in her room.

"Alright!" I yelled. "Cue the music and lights!" "Open the curtain!"

Everything began as the monkey danced on to the stage. He started doing the Disco and Running man as he made his way down the stage.

"WORK IT MONKEY!" I yelled.

"HE CAN DANCE TOO?" Dream Bella yelled surprised.

_386 outfits later_

"That's the last of them." I told Bella.

"It's about time." She mumbled.

_Real World_

"Alice… The monkey hasn't left." Bella said.

"At least he looks cute." I said sheepishly.

"I'll ask someone else for help."

**Author's Note: check out my other fictions.**


	6. The God of War Who Can't Shoot

**Authors Note: I know I went on Hiatus for a couple of umm…..Months with this story. But this is the third to last chappie and I am pretty bored so... I thought I would just finish it. To explain some confusion from last chapter Alice can't see dream Bella's future**

Jasper's POV

Over the months I have found it easier to be around Bella. I think I was really starting to gain control over my bloodlust. It has even come so far tthat I give Bella a kiss on the cheek when she comes over. I was starting to really love Bella as a sister.

"Jasper?" Bella started with her signature line.

"Yeah Bellers," I replied

I gave Bella I nickname that I usually said in an over southern accent. It was considered our thing because in school I would always cover my accent.

"Why is there a monkey in my room?" she wondered.

"I'm not sure." I said honestly.

"Jasper? You were in a war right?" she said puzzled.

I shared with Bella many stories of my time in the confederate war when she had to do a paper on it for school. Of course she wrote her paper with me posing as her great grandfather.

"Yes….."I said worried about her plans.

"So you can shoot the monkey right?" she said as I felt the hopeful rays come off of her

"Wait, what, no." I told her.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because I won't kill an innocent creature." I told her.

"You don't have a problem with it when you rip their necks out to drink their blood." She argued.

"I'll rip _your_ neck out." I mumbled losing my temper.

Bella sure had a way with insults in her sleep.

Edward growled at me bringing Bella closer on his lap in a protective way.

"I'm not shooting the monkey." I told Bella.

Bella managed to give me a sad puppy dog face changing my mind.

"I'll shoot him." I told her. "I'll go get my gun."

_A minute later_

"JASPER YOU"RE MISSING HIM!" Bella screamed flailing her arms.

"I'm trying." I told Bella sitting back in my chair.

"YOU'RE THE GOD OF WAR AND YOU CAN'T EVEN SHOOT A MONKEY!" She screamed at me.

"Jasper?" Bella said calming down.

"Yes Bellers?" I asked.

"You're out of bullets." She said sadly.

"Sorry Bellers." I told her sincerely.

"I'll ask Rose." She told me.

**Next Chapter is Rose's attempt and the last of the last of the Cullen's to try. I have saved her for last because it's my favorite. So please come back and read it!**


	7. He's not into you

**Authors Note: As promised this is Rose's chapter. This is the second to last chapter and the next one will be the last.**

Rosalie's POV

I have to admit Bella is still not my favorite person. She was practically going to throw her life away to become a vampire. She would miss moments like this when she could fall asleep on the couch. I would give anything to be in her place dreaming about a monkey that wouldn't leave my room. I was the only person who hadn't tried to get the monkey out of her room. So I sat waiting for my cue.

"Rose?" she asked me.

I didn't answer.

"Why is there a monkey in my room?" She questioned.

"Why the heck would I know?" I told her.

"You're my last hope Rose; can you get the monkey out my room?" She asked desperately.

"I would if I knew how." I told her honestly.

"Just wow him with your beauty, and ask him to go out for a few drinks." She told me.

I couldn't help but laugh at her logic.

"Sure why not." I told her still laughing.

Emmett looked at me like I was mad.

"First he's going to beat me at my own video games, then steal my women!" Emmett said upset.

"You do realize it's just a dream right?" Edward told him rolling his eyes. "And that there is no real monkey right?"

Emmett just crossed his arms and started pouting.

"Don't forget your red dress." Bella mumbled.

"How could I." I told her.

_15 minutes later (In dream) BELLA POV_

_ I growled at the monkey who was sprawled on my bed watching Wheel of Fortune. He was even clapping when someone solved a puzzle. That's when I heard a knock on the door and Rose waltz in._

_ I had to say she was stunning. She curled her hair and wore a nice fitting floor length ruby red dress. It matched her curves perfectly and had a split on the side showing her long pale legs. Her accessories; her diamond necklace and sparkly purse matched perfectly. She also had light makeup but bright red lipstick to top it all of._

_ "He's over there." I whispered to Rose while pointing to the monkey clapping as Savannah turned over the n's on the board. Rose strutted over to the monkey._

_ "Hey there, why don't you come with me and be my Tarzan." She said seductively while putting her arm around him._

_ The monkey just shrugged her off, turning back to Savannah. _

_Half offended Rose tried again._

_ "How about we get out of here?" She suggested. "We can go Banana's"_

_ The monkey never turned his head from the screen. Fed up Rose got up and stood in front of the TV blocking it from the monkey's view. The monkey started squealing motioning for Rose to move._

_ "HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU!" She screamed over him._

_ The monkey threw a pillow at her head making her fall down. Rose was steaming mad as she got up. _

_ "YOU LITTLE!" Rose said lunging._

_ I had to hold her back. I didn't want the monkey to die. He was actually kind of cute._

_ Giving up Rose stormed out of my room. Once gone I couldn't help but laugh._

Back to Reality ROSE POV

I waited as Bella started laughing in her sleep.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"You're not his type." She said still giggling.

"What do you mean I'm not his type?" I asked. "I'm everyone's type, everybody loves me. I'm flawless." I said looking in a mirror on the wall while posing.

"Not to the monkey." Jasper said chuckling.

I shot him a death glare telling him to shut up. And for his sake he did. I went back to my spot next to Emmett and started sulking.

"I still love you." Emmet said with a toothy grin and his arm around me,

"Shut up." I told him.

**Author's Note: So Rose is not his type. I was laughing when I threw in the Tarzan joke. Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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